The demeaning of life

You’re chasing your goals. Surely, they are your goals, right? You look at your friends and family, and you know how they look at you.

You try to guess what they think about you, and you pick the worst possible thought, of course you do.

And you know all this, while you sip from your “Be Happy!” coffee mug. You know you’re creating problems in your head. They don’t exist buddy, but to you they’re as real as it can get.

There comes a point when these thoughts overwhelm you. It’s like a blanket that engulfs you, but the blanket isn’t warm and fuzzy. It isn’t cold either, just a dull weight on your shoulders.

Suddenly from under the blanket, you try getting up. You try heaving the blanket off, but it doesn’t budge. What are you going to do? This is it, time to call it a day, you think.

But wait, what’s that in your pocket? A knife! How the hell did that get there? What?! It was always there?! That’s weird.

You use the knife. Thrust upwards and tear through the blanket. The fresh air is a relief.

You walk up to the mirror and look at him. What a good looking chap!

You smile at him. He smiles back.

You know how he looks at you, and you know exactly what he is thinking.

He knows when you failed, deep down he knows why you failed too. He knows what you crave, and he knows what you regret. He knows you won’t run and he knows you would never settle. He doesn’t sympathize, in fact he mocks you. You know you can’t bullshit him. He knows what you’re worth and knows what you can achieve, and he’s just there, with his smug little face. Daring you to do it.

You know you can trust him. Believe in him.

And he knows that’s all you’ll ever need to do.